Christmas Tree

When mom and Cami and I went to Time out For Women, there was a sweet speaker who talked about how two years back his wife was on hospice, dying of cancer.  She loved Christmas and it was December, so they wheeled her hospice bed right up to the tree where she stayed through the holidays. He said she loved the presents under the tree, the beautiful ornaments and lights.  A few days after Christmas she left this earth and returned home.  He said the following year he didn't have the heart.  He just couldn't bring himself to get presents, put up a tree, any of the normal holiday traditions.  He was too broken hearted.  Then, he went to a fireside. While there, he felt his wife's spirit overwhelmingly in his presence.  At one point, the song, "I'll be Home For Christmas" was performed and it was as if his wife was right there, talking to him, "I'll be home for Christmas... please have snow and mistletoe... and presents on the tree." He knew then that he needed to put up a tree and, though it was hard, it was a blessing too.  Cami and I had tears streaming down our faces when mom leaned over and said, "I am not putting up a Christmas tree this year." True to her word, she had no interest in Christmas trees, decorations, or any traditions this year.  But... the rest of us went and chopped down a tree the day after Thanksgiving and had a wonderful time. Garrett even called it magical.  After we got it home to decorate, mom came over for FHE and watched as we decorated ours.  It was the perfect solution so that she got to enjoy the sentiment without having to do it alone or see the constant reminder of Christmases past and gone now.  I have countless fond memories of cutting down Christmas trees as a child.  I hope my children will too.

Snow Day

Our first snow day. Hopefully it won't be our last.  We certainly could use the moisture.

Kimmies

We went on another tour of kimmies.  Like last time, they loaded us up with free samples, crazy amounts of chocolate rocks, and a great time going through a short, kid friendly tour.

Around the House

We have a lot of trees in our yard.  As a result, we get a lot of leaves in the fall.  The kids had fun playing in the piles that Brian rounded up. We also made a gratitude tree for Thanksgiving FHE and turkeys for playgroup.  The kids love anything crafty.  I hope to be better about making art more available to them... despite the mess.

Hunt

We let Kolton come with us on my deer hunt this year.  It was his first, and he was very excited.  He asked Brian to buy him a pair of hunting boots at Walmart so that he could go on my deer hunt. He was so funny.  We woke him at 5:00 am. Still half asleep in the drowsy minutes of morning he snuggled back in and tried to go to sleep.  Brian asked, "do you want to go hunting or go back to sleep?"  He bolted upright and exclaimed, "I go hunting!" He has his own binoculars which he held to his face throughout the drive. This was my 3rd big game tag.  I got nervous that morning, but it ended up being really easy.  I shot right through the heart which was my best shot yet.  Kolton dozed off right when I shot her, but that made no difference to him.  In his memory, he shot the deer.  Then, when we hiked up to it and Brian was field dressing it, he asked, "Why daddy cutting that blood?" I told him it was so that we could get the yucky parts out and eat it for meat.  "oh, I wike meat!" He replied.  Then, he retold the story from start to finish to every person he encountered for the rest of the day starting with, "do you want to see my deer?" It was darling.  We had an enjoyable, quick time.  We left the house at 6 and were done by 8.

Deer hunting is exhausting!

Jack'o'lantern

We tried a new approach this year,,,,

Happy Happy birthday Xiana Dear

This was an even year for my sweet Xiana so she got to have a friend party.  Can you believe she turned 6? I can't.  It's hard to even fathom that she is a six-year-old.  I mean, that's like almost a teenager.... before I know it she'll be begging to date, driving a car forcing me to go prematurely grey, and straightening her hair (that last one I'm hoping to be so open about that it never actually comes to that).  Six.

At six, she's learning to read.  I mean she can actually sound out all kinds of words and already knows about a hundred sight words. Six.  What a blessing she has been to my life.  I find it so bizarre to try to articulate this feeling of a little tiny girl who saved my life; who taught me so very much; who introduced me to a child of God, myself.  She's stinking cute....and smart.... and altogether amazing.  I'm not exactly sure why or how I got to be her mommy, but I sure am grateful.  We did cupcakes galore... for school, for party with friends, for party with family.  We ate a lot of cupcakes.  We had an enjoyable time.

Already I feel her beginning to pull away from me and assert her independence.  I already see her holding hands and giggling with little girls that I didn't introduce her to.  I already see her lift her chin in a defiant gaze and know that she needs to be right...to make decisions by herself.  I'm trying to let her.  I already see a glimpse of the woman she will be become, of the girl she once was, and the girl she's rapidly turning into.  I'm so proud of her.  She's a special little soul.  Everyone she encounters recognizes that special quality in her. They're drawn to her.  I pray that she'll continue to be brave, and strong, and always see her value.  I hope that even in her darkest hours, she can feel the tugs of the Spirit on her heart strings.  I'm amazed at how much of an impact one little six-year-old can have on me... on the world.  What a joy it is to be her mommy.

Though we had a wonderful time, it would be a lie to say I didn't shed a few tears.  I know that dad was with us, but it was heart breaking to celebrate her mortal life without him here in the flesh.  His absence is so poignant, so tangible.  It's remarkable what this life has to offer.  It's brutiful to celebrate her life while also mourning his death.

Happy birthday little girl.  I hope that life is always everything you want it to be.  I love you.  I'm proud of you.  I think you're remarkable.