Monday, May 26, 2014

Argenta Jade Andersen

We checked in at 6:00 am.  My c-section was scheduled for 8:00 am. It's such a strange thing to walk into the hospital one person, and emerge from the hospital two.  By the time they had the monitors on me, I'd been having contractions for quite some time.  By the end of our wait, they were 2 minutes apart, so I guess the timing was pretty nearly perfect. Argenta Jade Andersen entered this world at 8:28 am weighing 7 lbs even and 21 inches long.  She had a ton of hair which Brian joked was stolen from him. In the world of c-sections, this fell somewhere between my first and second.  With Xiana, I wasn't in any pain.   With Kolton, I was in a ton of pain.  With Argenta, I was somewhere in between. I wasn't pain free, but I also didn't feel like I was going to die.  I was a little surprised that they shot me up with morphine several times leaving me feeling heavy and cloudy.  I asked if they could switch to something else and, as soon as they did, I felt much better.  Things got a little urgent for a second because there was merconium in the fluid.  It wasn't until my ob explained that they wanted to suction Argenta really well before she cried and took her first breath.  That happened with Xiana too.  It's remarkable what modern medicine is capable of. They brought her over to the table where I could see her, and I was stunned by the shock of black hair she had.  I guess if you know the day your baby is going to be born, there should be something left for surprise.  She has a full head of black hair and such a dark complexion.  A few days before her birth Xiana had been bemoaning the fact that she wanted the baby to look like her friend's Hispanic baby. I explained to her that was not likely, that our baby would probably look much like Kolton.  Imagine our surprise when she came out looking like my mom!  I made her first appointment with the doctor and they asked her race, I told them she was Caucasian though she looked like a little eskimo.  Both Brian and I have some darker siblings, so it wasn't impossible, though we were certainly surprised.  A week later I still do a double take every time  I see her. Xiana was thrilled.  I like the idea, too, of having children with unique appearances and subtle similarities.  Ekco said that it would be cool if they all kept their hair color we'd have a red head, brunette, blond, and black haired child.  We shall see.  Argenta's eyes are a dark blue right now so it's anybody's guess what they will end up as.

It was sobering and spiritual to lay on that operating table and know that, not only had Argenta been with my dad only moments before, but that he probably was in that very room.  I wouldn't be surprised, even, if she could still see him and hear his final counsel for her.  It was bittersweet to say the very least.  It still is.  Mom stayed the night at our house the night before so that she could be there when the kids woke.  As soon as Xiana got home from school, she brought all three down to the hospital.  Ekco and Xiana were pretty smitten.  Kolton was excited, but a little ambivalent as well.  Every time he held her he looked slightly terrified.  His interest in holding her lasts about 10 seconds.  Xiana and Ekco will hold her for as long as we let them.

We barely escaped the hospital after two nights.  My blood pressure spiked despite restarting the medication.  Then, the doctor heard a heart murmur and had to do an echo on Argenta.  But, with great relief, they let us leave!  I hate staying at the hospital. You can't get any sleep.  The transition home was quite successful really.  I mean, emotions were certainly high.  Arguably, Kolton has had the hardest adjustment, but even he seems to be taking it all in stride.  Our household certainly hasn't been without outbursts, tears, and tantrums, but for the most part, things have gone well.  Sleep at night has varied, but for the most part, Argenta is a pretty decent sleeper, not anywhere near as good as Kolton was, but fairly decent nevertheless. I've been going to bed right when the kids do and leaving Brian with the babe for a few hours on the idea that, no matter what, I will at least get two hours at the outset. The last couple of nights have been substantially more for which I'm grateful.  Mom has been a tremendous help too as usual, taking the big kids, cleaning, and grocery shopping.  Still, I think it has been the most bittersweet for her.  I don't think she ever considered being a grandma without a grandpa.  And I think that after helping out here in the chaos her house seems lonelier than ever.

Of course we've been buried in kindnesses and generosities.  People bring us meals and company which is wonderful.  It's only been a week, so I know I'm not out of the woods, but apart from feeling a tiny bit weepy, I don't feel crazy postpartum insanity yet.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can bypass it altogether.  I'm really trying to enjoy every moment of this precious girl while also not missing out on these moments with my older kids.   Knowing this is our last makes it easier, somehow, to endure the hard parts and enjoy the pleasant ones.  After all, I know that this is the last baby I will be nursing at 4 am.  It's sobering and refreshing all at the same time.  We are so happy to be a family.  We are so grateful to know that families are forever.  This life wouldn't be tolerable if we didn't have the promise of forever, for I don't want this to ever end.





































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