The Last Page

Yesterday I typed the last page of the last paper that I will ever write for my Master's degree. What an overwhelming feeling it was to finish the last of hundreds and hundreds of pages. As I put the finishing touches on the last paper and re-read for the last time my criticism, a tiny tear escaped from the corner of my eye. I'm not trying to be all mushy boo hoo or anything, but I really did shed a tear. It was a tear of joy, a tear of relief, of exhaustion, and accomplishment, but above all it was a tear of pride. Not the "I'm so amazing aren't I?" type of pride. It was a different sort of pride all together. It was the pride that says, "I can't believe I did it. I am astonished that I made it through something that was so hard, but seemed so effortless at times." It was the kind of pride that made me feel simultaneously self-congratulatory and gratefully humble. I feel so overcome with joy it is hard to put into words. Still, at the core of it all is the underlying knowledge that I had so much help. I know with every fiber of my being that I am incapable of accomplishing this on my own. I am so thankful for the tender mercies of the Lord and His willingness to get me through so many times that just felt utterly impossible. I recognize that I am not the first single mom to get through school, but often in the last year and a half, it felt as if I was. But always always always I had the comfort of knowing that God knew what I was going through and He rooted me on, made things work for me, and comforted me when I was afraid or discouraged. So like I said, this type of pride is different than most. It is one that encompasses a massive sense of accomplishment AND an immense sensation of gratitude and humility. I am so elated. I am so relieved. I am so thankful. I am so proud. And best of all, I am so done!!!