Going and Going and Going

We had a pretty wild week after Christmas moving into the new year. Brian had family in town and my dear friend Deborah came out for the weekend. We went bowling... Ali played with the kids like crazy.
Xiana started to try to comprehend this new world of cousins and aunts and uncles. One morning I was explaining to her that Brian's siblings would be aunt so-and-so and uncle so-and-so and she said, "and uncle Brian!" To which I replied, "no, silly, he'll be daddy." She pondered this for a moment before responding, "what grandpa name gonna be?" I attempted to help her understand that grandpa's name would not be changing, but she didn't believe me. And this makes sense because in her experience, there is no explanation for grandpa aside from dad. She understands that grandma is my mom, because she has a mom. But grandpa kind of eludes her. When I call him dad she gets confused and I guess has determined that grandpa must be both that and dad. So when I tried to explain that Brian would be dad, it suddenly filled an already ascribed slot. Clever little girl. It's cute to see how her mind works.
She adores her new cousins... all of them!

We had a meeting of the parents for dinner (which went off splendidly if I do say so myself.... not that I had any doubts). The kids went wild. It's really fun for Xiana to now have cousins her age. My nieces and nephews are mostly older than her (not that she minds at all... in fact, she loves playing with the older girls and all her cousins are wonderful with her). Still, it has been fun for her to have kids her age to play with. It will be great to watch them all grow up together.

My dad and (it seriously just now occurred to me) father-in-law... crazy! The dinner was really nice and it was fun to have both sets of parents meet.
The girls had fun playing together as well. Xiana also does not quite understand the whole sister concept. When I tell her that Ekco is going to be her sister she gets mad and insists that she is Ekco, not sister. What a confusing world.... but a loving one! Still, the concept must have crept in a bit because every time Xiana eats now she always puts some aside and tells me, "I save this for Ekco." She has never done that before and she does it multiple times daily so she must at least grasp that Ecko is a special kind of relation to her.
Xiana continues to absorb everything and anything that anybody says. It only takes once. Ekco accidentally taught her, "guess what? chicken butt." after only saying it one time. At story time the librarian asked the kids (referring to the story) and guess what? Xiana bellowed, "chicken butt!" It was really hard not to laugh. One of my regular figures of speech is, "shut your mouth" as in, no way, I can't believe it. The other day Xiana was using her chicken nugget as a phone when I heard her say, "shut you mouth alicia!" It was also hysterical and hard not to laugh. I had a head ache one evening and announced, "I am going to take some ib profin." The next morning she asked me, "you're head hurt? You need profin?" Nothing gets past her! The other morning she exclaimed, "shooot! I forgot my bib!" Later when I was doing her hair I said, "we better get it wet to get rid of the fly aways. She thought for a moment and then said, "mommy, you tell me there flies in my hair?" One day the computer was going really slow and she quite seriously told me, "have to get a new puter." Last night after family home evening she insisted that EVERYBODY in the house had to say prayers with her.... but not out in the living room... we ALL had to come into her bedroom (including Garrett). She also insisted that Garrett participate in singing "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam" and in FHE prayer. She certainly has him wrapped around her little finger. He goes "shopping" with her all day and plays so sweetly with her. One of her new favorite past times is to get her purse (one of many) and go shopping. She often brings her shopping cart, or just her shopping baskets, or one of her strollers depending on if her babies are going to go with her. Then she kisses me goodbye and waves bye for a few and then gets groceries and brings them back home. As a result, there is food and dishes spread from one end of the house to the other at any given time. Another of her favorite games is to play on beds. At home she loves nothing more than to jump on grandma and grandpa's bed, and at Brian's we rarely leave without her convincing Brian to "play on mommy's bed." Life is good.

Brian's Birthday

ended up being far more exciting for me than for him. I surprised him with a green cake and an ipod touch... he surprised me with a diamond ring. Sounds about right. We had dinner at my parent's house made by my fabulous gourmet chef mom. It was really great that Ekco got to be here for her pop's birthday extravaganza featuring (drum roll please) family. Fun. Fun. Fun.
He's getting pretty old, the girls needed to assist him in extinguishing the flames.
Pretty exciting stuff this Christmas, birthday, engagement....

Christmas aftermath

Xiana practicing her bike skills...
Beep beep!
Brian got us matching camo outfits... seriously adorable. Who would have thunk it?

Rose colored glasses (those with week stomachs might consider skipping this post)

So this is what it feels like to be engaged. I can't lie and say I've always wondered... because I haven't. I am one of those rare girls that never thought about my wedding ring. I never looked at bridal magazines. I never cut out pictures of wedding gowns and pasted them in a book to refer to when the time came. No. I pretty much never thought about a wedding. I knew that I would get married in my life, but the wedding part never really mattered much to me. I always felt that when people got engaged it was a necessary and inevitable step towards their union... not much else. I assumed that it didn't change anything to be engaged. It feels like to me, that I was wrong. Because suddenly things feel subtly different amounting to magnanimous change. When Brian proposed and put the ring that he designed on my finger, suddenly, and without warning, the ring that I had never even considered became vastly important. I mean like really really important...crucial even. And this ring (the one that HE designed) immediately became the ring of my dreams, the ring that I had always wanted, the perfect, most fabulous ring. And it's funny because when we went and looked at rings the sales clerk asked, "are you finding your dream ring?" and I had to admit that, no, I was not finding it because I simply did not have one. And yet, Brian placed my dream ring on my finger late Sat. night. And rest assured. It is my dream ring. It embodies him and me and us and I. love. it. (almost as much as I love him teehee) Lest you think I am materialistic and obsessed with a ring, let me now attempt to explain the other differences between pre-engaged and post-engaged. There are many. Let me just start by saying I have known for a while that I was going to marry him some day (like think 3rd date) it was mainly a matter of convincing him. (And don't think for a second that a reoccurring statement in our relationship didn't consist of me explaining to him that I'm not sure he realizes yet how completely awesome I am, because it did!) Plus, we have been talking marriage for several months now so his proposal shouldn't have surprised me like it did. And you'd think that not much would change since marriage has been the dialogue between us for a while and I have felt certain that we were companions-to-be. Yet. it feels different. It's a distinct yet almost imperceptible feeling. Like somebody took the magic wedding wand and tapped me over the head with it. Because instantaneously I felt a deeper connection to Brian and I felt more like a team than I ever have before. This is strange because I have felt like we are a team for a long time. I have felt like we are one. But now... it's like we are one. And we're not even married yet. In my heart and mind I just feel like we are these two people that are joined forever (which we will be, but we're not yet and still I feel like we are). And I didn't think it was possible to feel more comfortable with him than I already do because we have always been very comfortable and yet, suddenly, when I look at him, it feels like home. And it is home. And I feel like the luckiest girl alive. I'm sure all soon-to-be-brides feel that way, but it's hard to believe that anybody else has ever felt like this before. But I'll believe it because I also never thought I would feel like this. He spent his birthday at my parents house and some of his siblings came over, and his daughter is here with him. As we sat around the tree singing, it felt so right and I felt so safe. I can't say that I've ever felt particularly unsafe, but having him by my side with this ring on my hand provides a sense of security that I never even knew was missing; that I never even knew I wanted. But I must, because it is a wonderful feeling. All at once I inherited a much bigger family. And I like his family. All of them. And in my head I've known that they would be my family too. But like everything else, it feels different now. Because now it's official and they are my family. And I feel closer to them too. Just. like. that. Weird huh? And I hope that the flutters I get in my stomach every time I see his face will never go away. I know. You can say it. Throw up already right? But it's true. And I hope that everybody in the whole world has either felt or will feel this some day in their lives. Because it is the most amazing feeling. And the world looks different somehow when you feel like this; easier; brighter; safer; more beautiful.

These pictures don't begin to do this ring justice, but at least you get the idea.

Christmas!

Christmas morning Xiana came out to see what Santa had brought her. She discovered candy and toys and books in her stocking. One book was an Elmo counting book. She picked it up and said, "yook mommy a counting book!" It was like she was reading I swear.... the numbers on the cover must have been her tip off.
Last year she didn't really have the hang of opening presents. This year, she has it down to an art. She enjoyed opening all her gifts from Santa and her one gift from mommy. Actually (and I probably shouldn't admit this) her Santa gifts this year came from all her friends. At her birthday party she got such an immense overload of gifts that I re wrapped about 15 of them in Christmas paper and wrote "from Santa." So many thanks to all of you who unknowingly provided my Santa gifts. She was thrilled with all of them.... again!
I'll give you one guess as to who bought her this little camo outfit... I received a matching vest. As far as camouflage goes, they are quite cute with hot pink embellishment.
Bedtime for Francis is a Frey family favorite and I did not have a copy. My sister, Cami, somehow managed to find the one gift Xiana actually needed this year :)
I made my parents a calender with pics from the year. Here they are admiring it. The coolest part is that I got to put little pictures on the days of the month for every child/grandchild/in-law 's birthdays.
Garrett had something of a guitar disaster earlier in the year so he was thrilled to have a replacement.
I am always on the lookout for cute black baby dolls. They are few and far between. My parents found one at Costco and bought it for her. She is a beautiful little baby. My only complaint is that she has straight hair! Oh well, baby steps right?
The one gift I got her is this bike.
Which she can barely pedal, but again, baby steps. She likes to be pushed around on it and at least her feet touch the pedals which is a step in the right direction.
It was a beautiful Christmas this year, like always. There is nothing like having a little one to remind you how joyful and FUN Christmas it!

Christmas Eve

On Christmas Eve, Xiana and I went over to Kacie's so that Xiana could get her annual spoiling. Kacie is crazy! Yes, crazy! She has single handedly kept Xiana in toys and clothes pretty much since birth. This year was no different. She managed to find the single most perfect gift for Xiana this Christmas... all of the Sesame Street characters. Xiana loves Sesame Street. Every morning when she wakes she asks, "watch Elmo today?" and then as soon as it's over she states, "I watch Elmo again tomorrow." So, needless to say she LOVED her gift. The only problem is that she has little concept of stuffed animals that don't do anything. She keeps bringing me her friends saying, "push buttons, make Elmo sing." When I explain to her that these are toys and she needs to use her imagination because they don't do anything she says, "okay, make Abby sing?" It's quite comical. Poor baby has no understanding of toys that don't make noise.
While we were driving to Kacie's house Xiana yelled out the window, "happy Halloween!"
She later revised to, "happy holidays!"
Here she is with her new posse.

After we left Kacie's house (with about six pounds of fudge) we went to see the Frog and the Princess. This is only the second movie I have ever taken Xiana to and it is her first princess movie. She has been so excited about it telling anyone who would listen that she was going to see it. She kept telling me that there were two princesses which I didn't understand until we saw it. She must have seen a preview somewhere. Anyway, I love that this is her first princess movie for several reasons. First, it is the first black Disney princess (it's about time!), second, the princess's name is Tiana.... closely resembling Xiana, and third, Tiana is a hard working waitress! Xiana was enraptured the entire time (well except for the 15 minute nap she took). The music was fantastic really capturing the heart of New Orleans and Xiana snapped her fingers, stomped her feet, and shook her little booty to the music. It was kind of scary at parts containing voodoo black magic, but she never got scared. Only later when I overheard her telling her friend that it was, "kinda scary" did I realize that she understood the shadow monsters. All in all, it was spectacular. I'm so glad this was her very first princess movie! Later that evening we acted out the Christmas story with the nativity set (which she somewhat listened to). At the very least she understood that the angel came to tell the shepherds of Christ's arrival because she was "flying" around with a trumpet in her mouth. Another thing she certainly got this year was that it is Jesus' birthday. Several times throughout the season I have overheard her singing Happy Birthday to Jesus. Garrett has a tradition of watching Muppet Christmas so we all piled on to my parents bed and watched it. For once Garrett found someone who appreciated the movie as much as he did. Right before bed I told Xiana that Santa would be bringing her presents and filling her stocking while she slept. She didn't like the idea of that at all. Santa is still kind of scary to her and she said, "he'll hurt me." I reassured her that he was very nice and he would not hurt her, but she stuck to her guns repeating that he would hurt her. I guess it makes sense to be afraid of a big strange man coming into your house while you sleep. Still, reaping the rewards of that scary man the following day might have helped alleviate some of her fears.

Rotary lunch

We went to the Rotary Christmas lunch this week. It was delicious food, fun entertainment, and (I have to admit) quite nostalgic for me. I remember so many of these events as a kid. I remember being dragged kicking and screaming; I remember making an absolute nuisance of myself; I remember being bored; I remember being entertained.
Xiana was the youngest and cutest member of the crowd. She loved being introduced and clapped and cheered with the best of them. When the performer sang Christmas songs, Xiana cupped her hand like she was holding a microphone and sang into it with her eyes closed and her head swaying. She mimicked the last word to every line of every song. When the President of Rotary asked questions, Xiana enthusiastically shouted answers into the air. When we first sat at the table Xiana asked for a sugar packet ( I have this terrible habit of letting her have one sugar packet whenever we eat out... Brian hates it :). I grabbed one of the sugars and went to open it when she said, "not that one, I want the strawberry one!" pointing at the pink sweet and low. My old high school principal was there and he immediately came across the room to give me a hug and talk with me. To say I was impressed would be an understatement. I only attended Reed for one year, and only went to class for maybe two months so I was quite touched that he remembered me. All in all, it was a memorable lunch and I'm glad we went. There are a lot of kind people in this world that genuinely want to do good for others. It's neat to see; particularly at the holidays. After the lunch, we went to the Chapin's house so that Xiana could see their amazing decorations and be spoiled by our good family friends.
They always do elaborate decorations both outside....
and in!

Getting all dolled up

Xiana loves to help me get ready. She sits in the sink while I do her hair, my hair, my make up, and she plays with the blush brush. It's fun. It's our "girl" time.
We went to Brian's ward Christmas party. He is in the ward that I grew up in and it's amazing how many of the same people are still in attendance. It is a very established ward which means I know a lot of people in it, but there are very few children (by very few I mean 3 kids in nursery). There are both advantages and disadvantages to that, but I will say it was delightful to see so many people from my childhood and youth. I forgot how much I love so many folks.
We both wore leggings and boots... Xiana was quite proud.
When we got home the Jenkins were over. My dad's good friend Vonn passed away a month ago. He had an amazing family and it was really fun to see them. Xiana especially enjoyed playing with their grand daughter.

Brian and Xiana playing dress up. :)

I almost gave this little outfit away because I thought it was too strange. Then, today I found it in the closet and decided to give it a whirl. I'm glad I did because it. was. adorable. She is a little hippie girl right after my own heart.

Sledding!!

I love sledding, but not just any old sleds will do. No, once you have unleashed the speed that is snow tubes, you will never revert back to toboggans, discs, sleighs and the like. My family has always gone sledding in the meadows at Mt. Rose. And we have always used speed demons otherwise known as tubes. Everyone on the hill has always been envious of our sleds as they are incomparable in both distance and speed. It has been a family tradition as long as I can remember. One year, when the slope was particularly icy, my dad flew into the air and landed on his head resulting in a trip to the emergency room with fear of a broken neck. Did this stop us? No! The following year we made our way back up that mountain and went sledding again. Even my mom went sledding with us.... until one day, we went sledding at our normal spot, and my mom decided to take a thrilling run into some trees winding up with a broken arm. This was the last chapter in a long book of family sledding. This year... seven years later... tradition returned. Only this time, there were more Andersens than Freys, and certainly no mom to speak of. Still, we went to our normal spot and it was a blast. People always conjecture about which sleds will go the fastest. They always think that one or the other is going to outrun the tubes, but I know. And I will always know that you cannot mess with the snow tubes. They are fast and furious! This year, we were the first to arrive at our location. As a result, we had to trail blaze in snow up to our thighs... all the way up the mountain. In addition to that, each adult had to carry tubes/sleds/children. I got to carry Xiana all the way up... I know she only weighs 20 lbs, but this was no small feat. Once up, I was somewhat afraid to head down this mountain with my fragile baby in my arms. So, after a trial run, I had Brian take her down. She. Loved. It. What can I say? I have been attempting to train her to be a thrill seeker her whole life. I can't imagine how enjoyable it would have been to be her, or the other kids. They got to sled down on the laps of an adult, and then be carried back up to the top of the hill. It was hard work. It got easier as others arrived on the hills and we were able to start packing down a trail. But the first few times up were really hard. By the time you got to the top, you had to take a rest just to be ready to head back down to the bottom. And yet, it was absolutely worth it. As we cascaded, glided, tumbled, sashayed, slid, and soared down the mountain, I knew that every ounce of work it was to get back to the top was a fair trade for the excitement of the ride. Then I got to thinking. Isn't that what life is all about. We work really hard for extended periods of time so that we can have moments of sheer joy, excitement, and fun. And in the end, it's always worth it. Nobody ever said, "man, I wish I hadn't worked so hard to be able to enjoy that." On the contrary, we prioritize and figure out ways that we can achieve our goals. And most goals, at least goals worth having, don't often come cheap. We have to put our blood, sweat, and tears into the fruition of our dreams. And then.... bliss. So it turns out, life is very much like sledding. We work hard, climb to the top, carry those who aren't quite strong enough to carry themselves until a later date when they will be, and then we enjoy the fruits of our labors....
First time at the top...
at the bottom...
back to the top... (taking a little break)
And at the bottom... (climbing up with a tube in one hand and a child in the other... pretty typical of the day)
back at the top...
time for a little snack break
the boys raced... Mark smoked them!
racing to the bottom
The kids were wiped out before the adults which is really hard to believe considering all the work we were doing.
Every time we got to the bottom of the hill Xiana would say, "let's slide one more time."
I told them to say cheese. They were both a little preoccupied with eating the snow. Rowan was even dipping his crackers in it.
The warning on this sled says, "single rider weight capacity 120 lbs"
But we didn't die.

I wish I could have captured my dad's face. It was priceless. When you hit the bumps, the kids go flying out of your arms and it's really challenging to hold on to the tube while you wrestle them back to your laps. Scary, but fun!
Just relaxing
Last run of the day...
We hiked back to the cars where we had hot chocolate waiting for us. I love this day. I love sledding. Life is beautiful isn't it?