Oh Argenta!

• At a month, Argenta is growing, smiling, sleeping fairly well (5 hours stretches most nights), nursing well, taking one oz of formula before bed, and can almost hold her head up by herself.
• At 2 months, Argenta weighs 10 lbs!!! She is 24 inches, smiles all the time, tries to sit up from her car seat, prefers to face out always, sleeps most nights for 8-9 hours, has started giggling (oh how I die), talks, coos, tries to refuse her bottle but still nurses great, can hold her head up well, (she will be sitting on her own in no time), and is a great little traveler.
• At 3 months, Argenta giggles all the time, smiles whenever you look at her, talks and talks and talks, and prefers to be propped sitting up on the couch where she can kick her legs and see everything that's going on.  I seriously can hardly stand how ridiculously adorable she is.  I have to pinch myself because I adore her so stinking much.

I feel fortunate because I didn't get the baby blues really at all this time... partially because I think my mom got them for me and there wasn't enough space for us both to feel down. Still, around the time of these pictures (at one month) I found myself so overwhelmed. I looked at my tiny baby, gripping my hand and felt such a surge of joy and angst.  It's funny really, to be able to so regularly feel such opposite emotions at the same time.  But there it was... happiness and fear all wrapped up in a little bundle of a baby together.  It's hard not to crumble sometimes under the relentless demands of motherhood.  I'm trying to care for my infant around the clock, and in the meantime, my three year old is terrorizing the house, and his sister, and everything he comes in contact with.  Meanwhile, I'm worrying that I haven't given my six year old enough attention, or any to be honest, and it can all feel like things are raging out of control.  And then... right around two months old, things suddenly feel easier.  We are on more of a schedule.  Kolton still tantrums and melts down, Xiana still isn't getting enough attention, Argenta still demands most of my time... but suddenly, so suddenly, it's okay.  And I know that things are going to work out just fine for all of us.... and I am grateful... so grateful... for this life I get to call my own.