Daddy

Xiana has fully embraced two words: daddy, and why. It is remarkable how diverse two words can make me feel. I recognize that the why stage is inevitable and crucial to the development of young minds. I understand that she desires a comprehension of the mechanisms of the things around her. I diligently try to answer her whys with sufficient information. Sometimes I learn something in the process because it forces me to acknowledge why I am doing some things, and how some things work, and the purpose of some other things. But... I will also admit, that I have discovered where "because I told you so" originated. I never wanted to be one of those "because I said so" types of parents. Here I am. If Xiana has embraced the "why," then her mother has embraced the "because I said so." Also, sometimes the whys come at me so rapidly that I simply run out of answers. Case in point: Xiana: Mommy go (at a stop light)
Me: I can't
Xiana: why?
Me: because the light is red
Xiana: why?
Me: because traffic lights help ensure that people don't get in accidents. A green light means go and a red light means stop. That way people aren't driving through intersections going different ways, crashing into each other.
Xiana: why?

Or...
Me: put on your coat
Xiana: why?
Me: because it's cold outside
Xiana: why?
Me: because it's winter and there are four different seasons. In summer.... and in winter it is cold out.
Xiana: why?
Me: because I told you to... now put on your coat!

Again, I do realize that this is important, but I am frightened when I hear 4-yr-olds in the store with the never ending whys. Does that mean I have a minimum of two more years of this stage?

Still, back to the other word she has embraced: daddy. Once Brian and I got engaged, I started explaining to Xiana that he would be her daddy. She adopted this new word every now and then. Then she progressed to its use about half the time. Every time she tried it out, it made my heart leap. It's hard to explain what a beautiful sound it is. Then, we went to Battle Mountain where Ecko referred to Brian as "dad" and to me as "Lenaya." By then end of the weekend Xiana was also calling me "Naya" and Brian "dad." When we returned from our trip, she reverted back to her original titles for both of us. Then, last week, without warning, she began referring to Brian as Daddy %100 of the time. It. stuck. I know it's cheezy, but every time I hear her call out to "daddy" or ask him questions or just talk to him: "daddy this" and "daddy that" it makes me want to cry. Words cannot express what it does to my heart to hear my sweet (up to this point fatherless) child utter the name "daddy." Last night, when we put her to bed as we were walking out the door she yelled, "I love you daddy!" It makes my heart feel warm. It makes me feel at peace. Brian is such a blessing and a comfort.... not just to me, but to Xiana as well. This is such an exciting time for us as we prepare to get married and become a genuine family. I was stressed about this adjustment and genuinely concerned that Xiana was not transitioning as well as I hoped. Now I find that I wasted time and energy worrying about something that is so clearly not a problem at all. She loves her Daddy... and so do I!

• In fact, she already calls herself Xiana Lee Andersen. Plus, one morning she said, "what's your name?" and I said, "you call me mommy." And she said, "no, you Naya Andersen." She is quick. She also has new grandparents. Without coaching she began asking me, "where Grandma Debbie, and where Grandpa Kevin?" Then she recently started calling them Grandma and Grandpa Andersen. She was listing off her grandparents including my parents. The title she gave them was, "grandpa mommy and grandma mommy."
• When we were at the grocery store, we got in line and Xiana called out, "Scuse us!" The lady didn't respond and Xiana said, "mommy why that girl no scusing us?" I explained to her that we say excuse me when we are politely asking others to get out of our way, but that when we wait in line, we just have to wait our turn like the others. She promptly, and more loudly yelled, "Scuse us!" In her world this polite term is a command.
• I bought her Happy Feet, but I was calling it the penguin movie. I told Brian that I got Happy Feet and when my dad got home she said, "Grandpa, we watching happy feet!!" She remembered the actual title despite the fact that I had not been referencing to it as such.
• She told me yesterday morning, "Mommy look, there's a mommy quail, a daddy quail, and a baby quail." And she was right.
• There are a lot of off-limit things that I tell her only mommies and daddies touch or only adults touch. She had some pictures on her little chair and she said, "mommy don't move my pictures on my chair. Only Xianas touch them."
• This morning I asked her why she wakes up so early and she said, "I yike to wake up."