The New Me and the Old Me in My Old New Home

As previously mentioned, I have been going to Wild Waters and other popular spots in Sparks which has forced me to acknowledge how very strange it is to return to your hometown. There are many wonderful things about it. For instance: when at the temple the other night I ran into several people who haven't seen me since I was a wild girl and I got to witness their shocked (and pleased) expressions, when at the fountains in front of the theater the other day I ran into some old family friends and told them to be on the lookout for my future husband, when at Wild Waters I regularly run into oh so many people I once knew which is both good and bad. Here's why: several times in the last few weeks I have seen people I know, but because I was such a wild child, I don't have the best memory of past experiences or hypothetical bridges burned. As a result, for the most part I walk around running into people and as I am rushing to say hello, and how are you, and you're kid(s) is/are so cute, the thoughts running through my head are:"do you hate me? did I burn a bridge with you? did I do something awful with you? to you? was I mean to you? did I tease you? did I date you? do you know things about me that I don't remember but if I did I wouldn't want you to know about me?" Meanwhile we visit (sometimes for very short and sometimes for lengthy amounts of time) and I often get the impression that they are attempting to ascertain what my current status of lifestyle is. I get these looks with raised eyebrows simultaneously curious and apprehensive. Then I leave thinking, "well, they must be pleasantly surprised" followed by, " I am way over thinking this, they probably don't even know who I am!" So.... while there is great comfort in being home and in knowing people and people knowing me/my family, being the new me in my new home somewhat clashes with being the old me in my old home. And while the old and new me and home are the exact same, they are also polar opposites.