Motorcyles and Mountains

While I recognize that this doesn't altogether look like the best idea I've ever had, I must admit, Xiana loved it! She is such a little dare devil and wanted to "ride the motorcycle again" and again. Brian is very careful and I'm pretty sure that these are the types of somethings that I may as well get used to. Additionally, could I deprive my sweet child of something I know first-hand to be so much fun?
They went for a spin around the neighborhood. While we were outside we witnessed the neighbor girls in their pjs heading out of the garage on 4-wheelers to meet up with boys on dirt bikes at the end of the street before they revved into the hills. I watched somewhat stunned as I was reminded again of why Brian is so fond of his small town upbringing. There is an element of freedom that simply does not exist in the cities. Show me a parent in L.A. that says, "have fun, be back by dark," to their ten-yr-olds as they wisk away on ATV's and I will show you a missing persons report. I found myself feeling slightly jealous (not jealous enough to pack up and go) but also quite grateful. I realize that Brian's custody arrangement isn't perfect. And to be honest, when we first started dating I didn't even know if the out-of-town-every-other-weekend-thing was going to work. Now I feel quite fortunate because going to Battle Mountain enables us to head out to the hills, ride motorcycles, and remember that the great outdoors still exists regardless of how invisible it is in our daily lives. Additionally, I think this is an amazing opportunity to prevent Xiana from being so city-fied that she can't appreciate a good camping trip.
And finally, because Xiana loves and adores her new big sister Ekco. No matter what the arrangement is, I'm grateful that she gets to have a big sister and that their relationship gets to develop in a place that is so soothing and provides an excellent glimpse into the childhood and life of their sweet father.
*disclaimer* this was strictly a posing shot.... I couldn't even turn the thing without Xiana on my lap!
Later we went out into the mountains and drove to where there is still a lot of snow. The entire time Brian was saying, "look for deer." I assured him that I was, in fact, looking for deer and that there were not, for a fact, any out there. He teased me a bit and claimed that of course there were deer out there. On the way back down he proceeded to point out 20-30 deer in the very sections of land I had insisted were vacant. I'm sure I will never see them the way that he does.... but maybe someday Xiana will!
There was a beautiful view from the top of this mountain. I love to drive around out here because it gives me an opportunity to hear so many fun stories from Brian's childhood. Every rock and corner contains sentiments from his life.
It was awfully cold... and awfully bright!

Church, Ducks, and Slides

I'm considering doing one of those picture montages where you take a shot every day in the same place and watch as you age.... mine will depict my little family in front of this tree approximately one Sunday a month for the next 9 years. So far I have a pretty decent start! The kids (and Brian) are completely accustomed to me requiring a picture in front of the tree before we leave for church... every time we are in Battle Mountain. But this week it was particularly important to me since my handsome fiance was looking so sharp in his suit!
And this is frame worthy...
After church we went to feed the ducks. I like this shot.... I find it to be quite poetic. When I was a little girl I used to stare at pictures (somewhat like this) and imagine all the different stories that could accompany them. I would create whole lives and dramas and complications for the people imaged in the posters. I find that I don't do that all too often anymore, but if I did and this were one of the pictures I would imagine something very romantic :)
The geese are very aggressive at this pond.
And quite literally bigger than Xiana!

After the duck feeding we walked over to the park. Xiana was holding both mine and Ecko's hands and she said, "this is fun, mom. We having fun." I must agree. We were, indeed, having fun. Sliding down the slide together was also fun. Xiana had to go in the middle because the side slides toss her right over.
Weeeeeeeeee!
Daddy's turn!
The end.

That my shootgun?

So, shooting is fun! I'm just saying. I really do enjoy it. This past trip to Battle Mountain I got to shoot this rifle instead of the shot guns I have been privy to pull the triggers on in the past and I must say, I quite like it. It's smaller and it has a scope (which if you ask me is the best part). It enables me to actually hit the targets I'm shooting at.
There are a lot of old remains out in these hills. Soon I will have an entire photo album of the girls standing in front of broken down buildings.
Yes, it is the desert... but isn't it beautiful?!

I don't know what they're talking about here, but I think the picture is absolutely poetic.
And apparently the apple doesn't fall far from the tree because when Brian got Ekco's new pink pellet gun out for her to shoot Xiana squealed, "that my shoot gun!" When we explained that it was Ekco's but that she could shoot it she asked, "where my shoot gun?" I assured her that I was sure she would be getting one way sooner than she should be with Brian as a daddy. That pacified her.
Ecko is a chip off the old block. She is a great shot! Plus I really think she enjoyed having her own gun to shoot with.
This is what Xiana did most of the time: pick up hands full of dirt and pour it over the sage brush. When I asked her what she was doing she alternated between, "I making" and "I planting a garden." Perfectly enjoyable to her! Brian says she needs a sand box... I said she needs a pool. I really think she needs both!
And, like we promised, she did get the chance to shoot a few times.

Halee's birthday

We went to Battle Mountain last weekend and Xiana immediately jumped on "Grandma's lap." She didn't waste any time in assuming her new role as grandchild! It was Halee's birthday so we went there first. It was a lot of fun with presents, cupcakes and hot dogs.
She also didn't waste time making new friends!
I didn't realize it at the time, but this was a girl dominated party!
Xiana was very proud of herself with her crown.
And her ability to blow the horn (with some tips from her new big sister Ekco).
She travels really well (the portable dvd player helps a lot) but I'm really grateful that she is so good because we are going to be making this trip a lot in our lives. (Not as much as Brian, but a lot nonetheless). It's actually really nice to get out of town for a weekend. Even though it's only 3 hrs away, you really feel like you've gotten away from the city. We always go out in the mountains, and I never bring any homework with me so it is a genuine break....

Where does she come up with this stuff?!

• Standing on top of the recliner, Xiana yelled, "loot at me! I a angel!!"
• I was driving home and there was a lot of traffic and I couldn't understand why. When we got to the light I said, "oh, they light is broken, that's why there's so much traffic." Xiana responded, "stupid light! somebody better fix it!"
• While I was working on the computer Xiana was fighting with me about who got to sit on the chair. I silently sat down and pulled her on my lap to which she said, "yeah, that perfect me sitting on you yap."
• There was a rabbit outside and Garrett said, "Xiana, look at the rabbit." She replied, "oh, there's a rabbit. better shoot it!" Garrett, dismayed asked what Brian was teaching her :)
• Xiana: you wanna hear a funny story? me: sure Xiana: one time, me riding on a dragon's tail and the dragon no like me, and he really mean, and him eat me, and me sad in him mouth.
• Another funny story: Ekco "Will somebody tell a funny story?" Xiana: "One time, I riding on a shark's tail and me say, hi mom, I riding on a shark's tail."
• I was explaining to Xiana that all of her cousins from my side and from Brian's side would be at the wedding and she assured me, "and from my side!"
• Brian was teasing me and the girls when we were going up the mountain (which he pretty much always does) and Eko said, "dad, seriously!" and Xiana said, "yeah dad, serious-me" She got such a laugh that she repeated it.
• Brian told Xiana that he would give her a piece of chocolate if she spelled her name. I thought that was pretty rude until she immediately spouted off X-I-A-N-A. He had taught her without me knowing. It's my new favorite trick!
• He also taught her right from left which she gets correct more than half the time :)
• There was an octagon sign broken and, thanks to Sesame Street, she asked, "what happened that number 8? somebody break it?"
• There was an "a" falling off of a sign and she said, "what happened the letter a?" I don't know how many letters she can recognize. I should probably investigate.
  

Valentines Day

For Valentine's Day we made heart cookies and gave them to the people we love. It was fun and sweet. Xiana especially enjoyed delivering them to her neighbors. She loves to play with them.
She won the flour contest... though Brian was a close second.


Then she and I made hearts out of cut outs of her hands and glued them on doilies. She told me that she wanted to make one for grandma and grandpa, Ekco, Brian, Garrett, and other one grandma and grandpa. She is so aware.
And I got a beautiful bouquet of yellow and purple flowers delivered. I. love. flowers. and I. love. Brian.

Better clean it out!

• The other morning as I was getting ready for school I heard Xiana telling my dad, "you have hair in your nose! You better clean it out!"
• The same morning I told her that I was going to work and she said, "no, you going to school." My dad replied, "your mom goes to work at school. She is a teacher. She is a very smart woman." To which Xiana responded, "you a woman mommy?"
• I told Xiana I couldn't pick her up one day because I was really sick so she, from previous experience concluded, "You sick. I no kiss you."
• One of her favorite things to do is help grandpa get dressed after work. She goes in his room and plays in his closet. She asked him why he was changing his clothes and he said, "because I want to wear my casual clothes." A minute later he came out wearing a different outfit and she said, "those your casual pants? and that your casual shirt?"
• Running to the bathroom I said, "I have to pee or I'm going to die." She alarmingly said, "you die?!" figures of speech are no longer safe.
  

Here she is playing catch... she's getting pretty good.
With her cousin Tyson... they have a love/hate relationship. I think because they're so much alike. They either play together wonderfully... or horribly!
Here we are at Sportsman's with some of her cousins. We spend a significant amount of time in sporting goods stores. So much so that Xiana gets mad when I don't let her see the "animals" at grocery stores. She is convinced there are mounted animals in ALL stores.
I just couldn't resist including this sweet little stockinged outfit. She is a doll!

Boomtown!

We went to Boomtown with Brian's brothers and their families. I had not been there since I was a teenager and I discovered that it is one of the best kept secrets in Reno. I forgot how fun it was and I don't think I ever knew how kid-friendly it is. For ten bucks you can get a wrist band that enables the little ones to ride rides and play games to their hearts' content. We went on the carousel numerous times.
And the Ferris wheel....

And then the kids ventured to this nifty little contraption. At first glance, parents were eyeing each other with the same thoughts, "there is no way these toddlers are going on this crazy ride." But led by their cousin Tyson, they were all emboldened and adamant that they wanted to ride the hopper. So... we waited in line, breath abated apprehensively expecting tears, fears and begging to get down. Xiana couldn't even get on the seat herself. Here was this tiny little crew between 2 and 3 years old marching up to this ride and then.... having an absolute blast! They loved this ride and insisted on going again and again and again. It was a double feature too because I'm pretty sure that we got as much entertainment from watching them ride as the kids got from actually riding. It was hilarious! They're arms and feet jumped up and down as the ride bounced repeatedly. They were dare devils most of the time with their arms up in the air like true roller coaster junkies.
It was so much fun that a week later Kacie and I returned with her nephew and Xiana and got to ride everything a million more times. We also got to take turns going on the 3-d virtual rides because Owen is old enough to go.

And like last time, they rode the hopper over and over and over...
With their hands up the entire time. So if you can't think of anything to do... head over to Boomtown, eat 4 lobsters at the buffet and ride as many kiddie rides as you desire.... preferably in reverse order. :)

Don't catch me!

• I promised Xiana we were going to be swimming for a birthday party and then failed to make it. As a result, I assured her that we would go, just us two on Saturday. "And my friends!" she demanded, and I consented. So... we went to the indoor pool and had a blast swimming. When Xiana was born I told her, "I don't care what your favorite color is, or if you like butterflies, or what you want to be... that's all up to you. The one requirement I do have is that you like the water." And she does. The only problem is that she is a teeny tiny bit shall we say, fearless? She was jumping off the edge of the baby pool and I was catching her to which she was exasperatedly saying, "no mommy, don't catch me." I was, of course, ignoring her knowing that there was no way my tiny child who can't swim and who isn't allowed to wear water wings in the baby pool could jump in without being caught. So... she ran up the stairs and dashed around the pool to the opposite end long before I could get there and quickly jumped into the pool. The life guard almost had a heart attack and there was an audible gasp from the entire crowd. What did Xiana do? She went under for a moment, pushed herself back up and then tippy toed it back to the other end where the water was no longer over her mouth. And I gasped as I realized that she was right. She could do it. I was scared, but she knew that she didn't need nor want me to catch her. She proceeded to repeat this about a bajillion times and loved every minute of it. Every time the life guard traded shifts the newbie would jump every time Xiana came tearing around the edge... but she didn't notice or care. I think next summer we better work on swimming lessons before she starts jumping into pools that she can't touch the bottom in!
• I heard her crying in nursery one Sunday which is very out of her character. When I picked her up I asked, "why were you crying today?" and she reassured me, "oh, I just tending cry."
• One morning I was reading my scriptures during Sesame Street. She quickly grabbed a spare set and confidently told me, "I reading my scriptures too, my Book of Mormon stories."
• She is suddenly a very complimentary child. For a two-yr-old it's bizarre to hear her handing out the praises. While she was napping I changed for work and when she awoke she said, "I like your dress mommy. That a church dress?" At the pool she went up to a little girl and said, "I yike your swimming suit." And I regularly hear her say such things as: "I yike your hair, shirt, clothes, shoes, hat, whatever."
  
• She is also very aware of social customs and those around her. A new daily statement from her is, "that girl no say hi me" or "I no say hi that boy" which she is quick to remedy. Unfortunately, this is her perception of EVERY person we come in contact with. So, the lady in front of us in line that can't see or hear Xiana suddenly gets to hear crying, "that lady no say hi me." If a friend is cranky or too young to say hi and bye regularly, she also gets quite upset.
• While typing on her keyboard and talking on her cell phone she said, "oh, I have to go, I have an appointment on my computer.
• At church my dad was on at the pulpit speaking into the microphone. Xiana said, "grandpa up there, I better go get him" and proceeded to walk all the way to the front of the church and climb into his arms.
• Also a reoccurring statement: "Daddy (or Brian) I need more money."
• Bobby and I went to Bully's for dinner and there was a hunting video game right next to us. She went over and got the gun down which, for the record, was bigger than her. She held it up and screamed so loud I think the entire bar heard, "mommy, I shoot the bear with my shoot gun!" Everybody cracked up and Bobby and I marveled at how different her life was going to be than mine. :)
• The other day she was watching a bible movie about Esther. She said, "I no yike her, I wanna watch the Lamanites!"
• While driving home in the evening she assured me that cows live on the moon.
• When we picked Bobby up that night for dinner there was a chair on his balcony, she said, "look at that little chair up there mommy. Bobby used to sit in it when he was a little baby and drink his soda." She has been telling lots of really funny stories like that lately that I'm not quite sure where they come from.
• She is also really good at telling stories about things that happen. After my parents watched her for me one morning she told me, "grandpa hit my eye with him belt and grandma cuddle me cause I cry." I shrugged it off because it sounded so crazy, but later when I asked my parents about it they told me that was exactly what happened. My dad was putting his belt on and it swung down and hit her eye. I told them they couldn't keep anything from me anymore... she would tell on them. Then I realized that went for me as well!
• Brian and I took her to the store and she suddenly asked, "where Carson city?" I have no idea where it came from, but Brian thinks they said it on the radio. At any rate, Brian pointed out the direction to her and she said, "Carson city really fun" he asked how she got there and if she walked or drove and she said, "me walk. Actually, me drive."
• I have discovered that she has memorized a lot of her books. I asked her to read to me one night and she promptly recited page after page of her books.
• She told me yesterday, "you have to cut my fingertails. They are pretty long."
• Brian asked her what his whole name was and she said, "Brian with an X."
  

It smells like smoke in here

I recognize that my title will not be perceived as a positive condition... but rest assured, it is. Here is why: This semester I am teaching at TMCC. For the last 2 years I have taught at UNLV and UNR. I love teaching and I have thoroughly enjoyed my time at the university level. At UNLV and UNR my composition classes consisted of 100% freshman ranging in age from 18-20. It was fun. Many (most) of my students were millennium scholars or their parents were paying for school. Many (most) were living in the dorms or on campus, living it up and experiencing their first "out-of-mom's-house-living-conditions." This is all good and fine. Like I said, I enjoyed myself and felt successful in my endeavors to teach composition. Still, it was a little discouraging knowing that statistically 1/3 of my entire student body would drop out by then end of their first year. Additionally, when the money ran out, 2/3 would not complete their college educations. I ignored these statistics and hoped for the best. At the end of each semester, it dawned on me that I was going to have to let go of yet another group of people I had grown to care about over the course of 16 weeks, and I accepted that as part of the job description (I still do). Suddenly, I find myself in a very different teaching situation.
My first day at TMCC was extremely intimidating as I was aware that my students were going to consist of a more diverse population. I was apprehensive about the fact that I would have students my age and much older. I knew that there would be many second and third career students, back to school parents, and overall a group of people with more experiences to bring to the table. I was also very excited. When I entered my first class, true to my expectations many adults stared back at me. In fact, I think there were only 3 of 28 that were 18-20 yrs. old. I was frightened. But... I pasted a smile on my face and began my intro/lecture. It didn't take very long for me to realize that I needn't have feared. Despite the diverse group of people staring back at me, I was still the expert. I was the one they would turn to for advice, knowledge, and skills. The beautiful part is that in return, I will receive knowledge, advice, and skills. They bring to the table something so amazing. Through their lives, experiences and struggles, they open new doors of communication and expertise. By the time I walked into my 3rd class I felt... home. And all three of my classes smelled of cigarette smoke. *disclaimer* I am not condoning smoking! But I know these people. Even though I no longer smoke, in a lot of ways, I still am these people. I went to TMCC for so long that I had to lose 50 credits because I had so exceeded the cap on transferable credits. But I didn't care. I loved TMCC. I loved the people, the experience, the intimate classes with teachers whom I felt genuinely cared about my success as a student. In short, smelling the smoke and standing in front of the room, I felt more comfortable than I have ever felt in a classroom before. And when I left... I felt more accomplished. I felt like they understood me, just as I understand them. They don't have any inkling about what it took for me to get to where I am. Yet they know it intimately because they are going through the same things. Over the course of the first 2 weeks of class I discovered most of my students are parents, primarily single parents. Many battled substance abuse problems. Many of my older students are utterly terrified about being back in school for the first time since 1982. I am ecstatic to inform them that their experience is truly not so different from that of their peers who just graduated high school. It's always intimidating to start something new. I myself am intimidated and I'm the teacher! But by far, hands down, the single most inspiring thing that I have discovered about my classes this semester is that ALL of them are making sacrifices to be here. They do not have scholarships; their school is not being paid for. I had one girl inform me that she couldn't give me her phone number because she couldn't afford one right now. I know that tuition expenses could afford her that luxury. But she chooses an education. They ALL value what they are doing in ways most freshman cannot yet understand. This is something they have had to work for; to make sacrifices for; and the outcome will be sweet. One girl told me that she always promised herself she would go back to school by the time she was 30. The first day of class was her 30th birthday. What a sense of accomplishment. I feel so privileged to witness their comebacks. To be a part of something so special. And after only 2 weeks of school, I feel like I have already taught them something. And that is truly rewarding (and it's a good thing because part time sure doesn't pay). After class yesterday I had an older student tell me that she had thought about more in the last 2 weeks than she had ever done in all her classes in her life. She additionally told me that she feels that if she had had an English teacher like me in her youth she would be a better writer *tear* I also overheard a girl telling one of her friends as she walked out the door, "I love my English class. My teacher is rad!" It feels so good to be here, where I feel so comfortable, where I started my own educational journey. To be somebody that can make a difference and to secretly know that I am just like the people that I teach. I sacrificed; I worked hard; I lost my way; I made huge mistakes; I fudged my way through class; I worked; I value!