Daddy's little girl

On December 14th Brian officially became Xiana's daddy. It was a tender day and an experience I'm not likely to forget. I told Brian that he was going to be a daddy again and he said, "yeah, twice in 6 months... with the same woman!" But, jokes aside, this truly was a remarkable occasion. We are so fortunate that dad is an attorney and was able (and willing) to do all the work for us. He said that not many grandpas get this special opportunity. And I'm sure he's right, not many grandpas do. We are very grateful to him and all his time, especially when he's sooo busy right now. I was a little disappointed that we didn't get the same judge as did the parental termination for us. She was so great and she commented on how she looked forward to meeting Xiana. I was looking forward to that when I found out we had a different judge. In the end, it worked out for the best as things usually do. Judge Keller was nothing but gracious and kind. Dad asked Brian some technical questions and then asked how he felt about this little girl. Brian said, "A few weeks ago I was explaining to Xiana what was going to happen today for the adoption and I said that I would be her daddy. She replied that I was already her daddy. Then I told her that she was going to be Xiana Lee Andersen and she said, 'but I'm already Xiana Lee Andersen.'" His voice choked as he continued, "I feel the same way as she does." Which sufficiently made me cry so that when it was my turn to speak I was at a loss for words. I did say that they loved each other and that he was all she knew or remembered of life and a daddy, which is true. It is yet another tender mercy of the Lord that she simply does not remember a time without him. We were looking at videos from when we lived in Vegas and she got so mad at me because I couldn't answer, "where is my daddy?!" She couldn't comprehend a time when he wasn't here. We got to the end of the hearing and the judge said, "I already signed the paper as soon as you began talking. Does anybody else want to say something? We are making a video for you guys to keep." Brian's brother Kevin came up and spoke of how he's watched us grow as a couple and a family and said that we were a welcome addition to the family. The whole experience was so sweet.
Even though you're not supposed to bring cameras in the courthouse, the judge took pictures for us.
And it meant so much that two of Brian's brothers and his sil and niece and nephew came to support us. It really was a red letter day.
A couple of days before the adoption Brian was teasing Xiana and I saying, "that's it, I'm leaving for good. I'm outta here!" Xiana laughingly replied, "you can't leave. You're my daddy. Daddies don't leave." It was hard not to get choked up as I thought of how wonderful it is that, thanks to Brian and his sweet relationship with her, she has no understanding of the fact that daddies do leave. In a world where she could know first hand that daddies leave, she is saved from that understanding until a later time when the context is not her own. I am so grateful to Brian for his love for me and for her and for this wonderful experience.
Early that morning Xiana came in my room and climbed into bed with me. I was explaining to her that part of why this adoption was so important was that in April we would be able to be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity to which she broke out in song. "Families can be together forever. It's heavenly Father's plan. I always want to be with my own family and the Lord has shown me how I can." Priceless.

Applesauce

Xiana got a book from the library about a family that makes applesauce all year long. They talked of all types of apples and then told us how to make it. Xiana really wanted to try it so for family home evening treat we made some with our leftover apple hill apples (that were getting pretty rough). It was delicious. I will never be able to eat store bought sauce again!

First Snow

The first snow of the season was a couple of weeks ago. Xiana loves to eat snow. She could do it all day long so I let her go out in her pjs to grab a bite....

31

Isn't quite the same as 30. I had a really nice, low-key birthday this year. Brian and I went on a double date with My sil Ali and her fiance Malu. We went to a yummy dinner and then to Harry Potter where we were so lucky as to sit in the very front row. I vow to never go to opening night again! Why do they make those seats anyway? Oh well, it was a blast nevertheless.

A New Perspective

How many times have we all heard the story of Jesus' birth? I know that I've heard it my whole live, not just at Christmas, but multiple times throughout the year. I see my sweet Xiana at 3 as she soaks in the story repeatedly asking who Jesus' mother is again, and what's His daddy's name? Today, in Sunday school we watched a video that brought new light to the story of Jesus' birth. It wasn't anything miraculous, or some new discovery, I just saw the experience in a new way. The story of Mary and Joseph and the angel is so familiar that I find I almost brush it aside as if to say, "oh that old story, everybody knows that." Instead, today I find that it's crucial that we pay attention and give "that old story" the utmost attention and respect. Today Mary became a girl, a mother, a friend. I have never once thought about her relationship with the Savior as her son. What kind of a parental role did she take? I have often thought of her simultaneously frightened and comforted when she learned of her role to birth our Lord and king, but never the afterwards. What a patient mother she must have been to have been selected for this great mission. How she must have trusted in the Lord to accept this responsibility and ignore what the world might say. How she must have felt as she sat in that stable holding the new born king, a king that would not be celebrated by the world. On the contrary, a king the world would seek to destroy. Still, a king that would be celebrated by the heavens and the hosts and multitudes of angels. I never considered the fact that as that heavenly host descended from heaven and appeared to the shepherds with their trumpets and triumphant cries of joy, we were likely among them. Imagine, a world that couldn't comprehend that our Savior had been born. Now imagine, the heavenly hosts, ourselves, understanding completely the importance of our king's birth; crying out with optimism, love, and great rejoicing that Christ was born. It was only fitting that He should be born in such humble circumstances for He teaches humility to all. So Mary, trusting in God, birthed her son, held him close, and how she must have wept with admiration as she saw the wise men and shepherds come to worship this tiny babe.... her tiny babe. What must she have felt to know that this child of hers would be the world's teacher, her teacher, and bring truth and a pure example of righteousness to the earth? Did she know then that he would later be sacrificed so that we, and she, could return to live with our father in heaven? Did she quiver with fear as she thought of all the mistakes that she might make, but that he would never? I know as a mom there is instantly, not only a swell of pride, but the induction of mom guilt when an infant is brought into this world. It's just part of the territory and we get through. But I think of how many times I feel guilty that I didn't seize a teaching moment, or I didn't heed a request that would have meant something for Xiana, or I got angry and lost my temper, or I didn't lead by example in my home. Imagine the feelings of inadequacy if the one you teach is the ultimate teacher. Mary, a girl, a woman, beloved by God met this responsibility and promised to do exactly what was asked of her. She was a person, a real person. We knew her. We will know her again. Perhaps I'm affected by my own pregnancy hormones flowing through my body, but today I just can't believe that I never knew that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a mommy... just like me. She cared for, raised, and loved a perfect son. She was human. She was an exceptional human, but she was, nevertheless, human. So today, I feel as if I have met Mary for the first time. She endured great trials, but she was blessed more abundantly than fathomable for she was and is our Savior's mommy!

And, on a somewhat side note, today in primary, Xiana went to Sunbeams and when they asked how Mary knew that Jesus was going to be born she cried out, "an angel told her!" And again, my heart swelled with pride that my almost sunbeam daughter knew what happened. I hope I can teach her that Mary is a person long before she's my age.

Animal Kingdom!!!

Kate and Tyler got free tickets to Animal Kingdom aka Marine World aka Six Flags. They were sooo kind as to ask us to join them. I don't know if I recommend going to an amusement park with two pregnant women.... but we had a blast nonetheless! The kids loved the rides (and Kate and I enjoyed the kiddie rides as well. If that's the extent of our thrill, bring it on!) Brian and Tyler got to ditch us and the kids to ride some real rides and we weren't the least bit resentful. See how that works when you're pregnant? You can't begrudge your husband riding the roller coasters while you ride the choo choo train.
We drove up to Vallejo the night before, had pizza and then partied in our hotel room with klondike bars.
This little roller coaster was quite wild. Brian always says the best face on these rides is mine. He claims that I am always the most scared... I think it's more surprised that these little kids get such a stomach flipper.
Poor Leeya hit her face on the bar in the abrupt stop and didn't love this ride ever after. The other kids enjoyed it immensely.
And this.... is the single most boring ride ever made. I'm pretty sure kids can't even have fun on this one. Xiana said, "they sure don't drive very fast."
This is Xiana's all time favorite ride at any amusement park. She was asking about it before we arrived. Imagine her dismay when her mommy was too fat and she was too short to ride by herself. Bummer. I promised her multiple rides at boomtown to make up for it.
Shuka is always a show stopper and the kids were amazed at the whale's capacity to soak an entire crowd. Just the other day Xiana told me that when we go to the ocean we won't let the whales get our cameras wet.
majestic!
now that it's animal kingdom they also have giraffes, big cats, bears, monkeys, etc.
It's like a regular zoo!
The cats are always my favorite.

But the elephants were pretty impressive too. Especially since we got to watch them take a bath. Also, the oldest living elephant in North America resides here... I'm pretty sure she never gets out of the water. She just chills in a nice bath all day long.
While her descendants do tricks.
And appease the masses.
And the camel starves!

A beautiful sight!

It keeps our home warm... it keeps Brian in shape from splitting wood... everyday. And...it makes Xiana sooo happy to help her daddy with the "burning stove."
She also enjoys bringing wood in with him daily and feeding the birds!

First road trip in our new car!

Our first road trip in our new car was to.... drum roll please..... BATTLE MOUNTAIN! Shocked? I know, it is rather shocking. Still, this beautiful buck thought it was very exciting. Actually, Brian and I went on a very unsuccessful duck hunt and suddenly looked over to this....
Apparently Xiana likes the new car because she slept on the way there and back. Plus, she has graduated to ear phones.... tear... it's hard to believe she's growing up so fast. It feels like just yesterday she was babbling to her baby Einstein while I painted her little finger nails. Though, I guess in some respects I get to keep her a baby forever since she still weighs about the same as in my fond memories :)
I know I have a lot of these pics in front of the tree. But you should all know... this one was extraordinarily coerced. Therefore it's worth more because it took a lot of work to make it happen... and it's raining! I love having a family picture before church on Sundays. Plus, over the last year we have seen some serious recorded growth of that tree!

volcano!

Maybe if we lived somewhere where there was an impending threat of volcanic activity, we wouldn't encourage our kids to gather around and watch it explode. But... we don't so... we do! Karina made a bunch of play-doh and then colored it so that the kids could make trees and bears and plants. Then they all were ecstatic with every explosion. (There were many as she went through an entire thing of vinegar and baking powder).
It was a ton of fun to watch and entertained the kids of all ages for a long time.
Plus, the moms got in on the sculpting action. I must say, you never outgrow play-doh. It's like we're hard-wired to enjoy it or something.
Xiana's tree before it met with disaster.
oops... this is the wrong page, but here's another Halloween festivity. Aren't holidays fun when the last a long long time?

Halloween... a little bit late

I know, I know... first I post for Halloween way too early, now way too late. But, you know how the saying goes.... better late than never.... As you can see Xiana was a ferocious Little Bo Peep. I am happy to relay that she now knows the lines to that favorite nursery rhyme.
She got these disgusting teeth and I'm positive that Brian had wayyy more fun with them than anybody else. Please note that this is one of many self portraits taken on Halloween night.
She got a lot of loot! Including whistles, sunglasses, coloring books, etc. Brian said that at one house she and Rowan were the last on the doorstep and the guy kept saying how cute they were and putting more and more candy in their baskets. It does pay to be little and cute on Halloween. Xiana ran to keep up with her cousins and friends. Her little head was bouncing every step of the way as she took her three bounces for every one of her accompanying peers.
This was the group of kids.... accompanied by 9 adults. Can you say overwhelming? One of the houses a woman yelled out, "don't worry, I'm giving them enough for all of you!" What can I say? We are an involved group.
We did carve a jack-o-lantern... and then promptly forget to put it outside ever... not even once. Oh well, it was awfully cute!
And Xiana got a kick out of the disgusting insides. "Ewwww!" she squealed.
At our ward's trunk-or-treat I asked Brian to take a picture of us. "'Why?" he asked, "we already have this picture from last year. Okay okay... enough already!
Yet, these are virtually the same pictures as last year. This year there was one MAJOR difference. Brian is now daddy and he got to go trick-or-treating with us which was a treat!
Earlier in the week we were fortunate to attend LOTS of Halloween parties and playgroups. This one was particularly fun with a spider craft and cupcakes!!!
Xiana wouldn't let the spider out of her sight... it took a week before I could get it away and dispose of it. She loved it! So cute!

Life through Xiana's eyes

• On her birthday I let Xiana run wild with my camera for a while. This is what she sees.... minus the 500 pictures of every single item in our house.
  

Dad cooking dinner...
Mom cutting vegetables...
Her own transvestite make-up-ed face...
glitter lips...
And mommy laying on the floor.

• She has gotten to be an incredible story teller. She often begins with "my daddy tells stories about a galaxy far far away."
• Once while adjusting my mirror and holding a cup while driving Xiana exclaimed, "this car can drive by itself!"
• Brian regularly complains that he isn't going to make it. One night Xiana said, "if my daddy dies we'll have to buy a new one."
• She proudly pronounced, "everybody needs me!"
• In her prayers one night she said, "please bless my babies to sleep."
• I've heard her countless times telling people that "when we die we go live with Jesus and Heavenly Father."
• She asked, "Is Jesus in our ward?"
• Her one to one correspondence is amazing.... but she's taken it one step further. Now, compliments of Dora, she counts everything in Spanish!
• One morning while driving to my parents after a particularly late night she asked, "mommy, are you happy?" "yes," I replied, "are you?" "No! I'm too sleepy to be happy."
• I had a wallet photo sitting on the desk and she asked if she could play with it. I said sure and then noticing the picture mentioned that I should put it on the wall. She said she would do it for me and I laughed explaining that I would put a bigger one up on the wall. She said, "oh, let me just zoom it out for you... zooooom!"
• At the pumpkin patch there was a petting zoo and Xiana said, "I think that goat farted a stinky fart."
• One day I was mad at her for something and I angrily asked, "what are you doing?!" She promptly replied, "not making a good choice."
• One night I caught her with her hand in the toilet and freaked. I yelled and told her to never do that again. A fem minutes later Brian asked if I even bothered to question why she did it. I hadn't. She explained, " I was counting my poops."

Xiana turns 3!!

Like last year, we had Xiana's birthday party at an indoor swimming pool. She was slightly miffed that she couldn't have it in out backyard with pools like her cousin Kylee did. We had to explain to her that June birthdays and October birthdays are slightly different. Ekco got to come so Xiana was a happy girl!
This year there was no ambulance...
Xiana insisted that she wanted a princess party, but when push came to shove to opted for a caterpillar cake instead... go figure. That's okay. I'm sure there are many princess parties in her future.
The whole fam.
The party had the usual... all her friends, family, cake...
too many presents...
Way too many presents...
and Swimming!!!! This is a perfect party for both Ekco and Xiana as they are little fish and LOVE the water.
It was remarkable to see how much all the kids have grown in a year. Last year Kylee was jumping in all over the place. This year she was swimming!
Last year Rowan could barely touch in the deep side of the kiddie pool... this year he was a full head out of water.
Last year Brian and I were not married or engaged.... this year we are pregnant, bought a house, a new car, and have established a life together.
This year, Xiana plugs her nose... last year, she didn't know any better.
She had a wonderful time with her family and
Friends!
Then, on her actual birthday I let her open her present from Kacie. A few weeks prior to the big day we went to Toys R Us with Kacie. Xiana went back and forth between gifts trying to decide between barbies, dolls, art kits and then, when she found the makeup sets, there was no more indecisiveness. She was dead set on getting makeup and did not waver. So... that's what she got. I didn't let her actually open it until the day of her birthday. I'm pretty sure that according to her it was worth the wait....
She loved it. Plus it kept her occupied for hours.
Then my parents and Garrett came over and Brian made Xiana's special request (homemade spaghetti sauce from tomatoes in the garden and elk burger... delicious) and we had leftover cake.
We got her a frog and the princess music kit which Garrett and Brian were happy to help try out.
They could have started their own band!
Of course we put more candles in the cake. You have to make a birthday wish on your actual birthday!
The makeup went perfectly with the vanity her uncle Kevin got her. She is in girly girl heaven.

Xiana continues to be a social butterfly. She loves to have friends and people around. In the last six months she has FINALLY developed the skill of self entertainment. Instead of following me around the house all day long, she can usually play make believe and do art projects for regular intervals. She bears her testimony every fast Sunday. Her little spirit is growing. She is just as tiny as she has always been, but she's small like dynamite. She is will full and headstrong: two qualities I both dread and commend. She is sensitive and easily gets offended when others aren't as aggressively social as she is. She loves play group. She thrives on her new preschool. She never ceases to amaze me with her intelligence. She counts everything and has just recently taken to counting in Spanish. She is confident and loved. She seeks justice in all things and regularly explains why something is or is not fair. She loves to read books, watch Dora, Barney, and Sesame Street. She loves to sing. She reminds us every night to read scriptures. She has been saying her own prayers for a long time. She is insightful and perceptive. She recognizes hurt in others and tries to make people happy. She is a joy (most of the time). Her spirit is strong and she is dedicated to living a full life. I'm so grateful that 3 years ago she joined me on this earth. I genuinely don't know where I would be without her.